I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
