You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
