so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
