Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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