why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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