mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize