white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
