do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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