Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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