i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Randomize
