i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
