do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
