okay pat passed out under dana's car
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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