If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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