dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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