I'm so fucking centered right now
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
