cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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