P.S. I can't hear my feet
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
