The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
