I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
