yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
