the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
