I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
