Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
