i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
