I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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