I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
