I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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