This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
