Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yo dont text me then not text me
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
