I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
