I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
