we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
