JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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