Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
