i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
