I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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