I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
