Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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