he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
