It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
