You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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