It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
