It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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