Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
