walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
