I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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