you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize