haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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