Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Quick, to the slutcave!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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