im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
