Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
