What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I love having hate sex.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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