I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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