dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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