im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Is this like a preordered booty call?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
