I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
