my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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