Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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