I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
