I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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