Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
