Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
