the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Girls should come with a carfax report
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize