If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Its about making memories worth repressing
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
ok first of all what the fuck
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
