I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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