Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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