the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize