You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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