Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize