You work out of a Hotel?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
