Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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