We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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