It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
