I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
