Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize