she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He felt like a one man threesome
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
