you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
