Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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