Yo dont text me then not text me
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
