This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize