Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
